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Q: I recently was at a meeting where throughout the day, some attendees would rush in late, others would interrupt a presenter, some would even answer cell phones or send text messages. I thought it was incredibly rude behavior. Then I realized, at my company we’re also guilty of the same bad behavior. How can I establish a meaningful, yet fun, “set of expectations” for our company’s meetings?

A: Great question! And, perhaps easily answered by referencing something I spotted this summer in Minneapolis, while working with Don Kielley and one of his Vistage CEO groups.

Hanging on a meeting room wall, was a sign called “Clubhouse Rules,” which Don and his leaders created or adapted from ideas generated by the Vistage network.

It included freedom to be “bold,” straight talk in a “care-frontational” manner, stimulate and encourage each other, make it safe to be vulnerable, build on the comments of others, respect confidentiality and maintain integrity, be productive, listen powerfully and actively with an intention to contribute, share your own examples, use “I” statements, no side conversations, cell phones and pagers, $5 per interruption; be on time, $5 if late or leave early, and have fun.

Anecdotes, amusements and adventures

I hop onto the treadmill in the Renaissance Hotel’s fitness center in Charlotte, N.C., and see the following warning on the control console:

Caution: Before starting treadmill: 1. Straddle treadbelt; 2. Attach safety clip to clothing; 3. Read owners manual before use; 4. Consult physician for target heart rate.

The guy before me, followed all four instructions. His three mile workout, took nine hours!

Less is more

My brother-in-law Alan, is a great guy. He’s also incredibly funny. By accident.

Case in point: We were recently eating at Johnny Rockets, a place known for their big burgers and thick shakes. Alan ordered a double cheeseburger and a vanilla shake. As the waiter left the counter, Alan called him back and said, “That’s too much food. Just make it a shake and a single cheeseburger.” Ten minutes later, Alan had wolfed-down the burger and shake. The waiter then asked, “Dessert?” Alan replied, “I’ll have another cheeseburger!”

Pardon me?

A friend of mine has recently had some hearing loss. And on occasion, he forgets to wear his hearing aid. This oversight, produces some memorable dialogue.

For example, he was late to a program we both attended: When he hurriedly sat down next to me, I asked, “Was traffic bad?” He answered, “You won’t believe what happened. A guy was hauling a boat and the boat uncoupled. The truck kept going down the highway, but the boat took off in another direction. It was stuck by the road!” I said, “Sounds like Noah!” He looked at me with confusion and replied, “No, I didn’t know him!”

From the ‘time is not of the essence’ department

On a recent Friday, I sent an e-mail to a company. Here’s the automatic reply sent back:

“Thank you for contacting us. We routinely check e-mail on Tuesday.”

Electric comments

A few years ago, I heard this hilarious exchange between two National Basketball Association TV analysts:

Doug Collins: “His offensive play has electrocuted his teammates.”

Steve Kerr: “Didn’t you mean electrify? If he electrocuted them, that means he killed ’em!”

Frogs couture

My family and I spotted this sign at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry, promoting their Genetics Decoding Life exhibit: You won’t see our frogs in a fashion show, but they have designer genes!

Fun anniversary

Penny, the cabdriver: “So are you married?”

Me: “Yep. 26 years. How ’bout you?”

Penny: “Got ya beat! 35 years!”

Me: “Impressive! What’s the key to your success?”

Penny: “My husband is a responsible juvenile!”

Jeff Blackman is a speaker, author, success coach, broadcaster and lawyer who lives part-time on Marco Island. His clients call him a “business-growth specialist.” Send an e-mail to jeff@jeffblackman.com or go to jeffblackman.com to subscribe to his free e-letter.