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When my children grew up and left home, I never felt a loss, only a gain. They were self-sufficient and were ready and anxious to go out on their own. I was happy to see them on their way. Perhaps this was because when my third child was born I was only in my early twenties. I never really had a chance to spread my own wings before becoming a mother.

Having children when you're young means that you're still young, by today's standards, when your children reach adulthood. So when my nest emptied out, I went out with them and began to live and experience the adventures I didn't get a chance to have when I was younger. Life changed from being a mom to being me and having the time of my life. I never felt lonesome for the sounds of my children around the house. I savored my newly found freedom and felt like a teenager again. It was great.

Life is wonderful. You can never predict your own or anyone else's future. There are always surprises right around the corner, waiting to trip us up or push us to a higher level of living. Both happened to me when I became a grandmother.

My daughter was a lot smarter than I was when she was in her twenties. She was able to leave an unhappy first marriage unburdened with children. Then, she found the right man who became the father of her two boys. Her marriage is strong and happy. So it's no wonder that her sons are well-adjusted and growing up to be neat guys.

When the first grandson came along, I hadn't the slightest idea that I would be goofy about him. But now, after becoming a grandparent of three youngsters, I'm certain it's genetically embedded in our brains that we turn to mush when we hold a new grandchild. The feeling of that baby in our arms reawakens those maternal feelings we had with our own children. Only this time it's different.

How anyone can hold a tiny, helpless infant and not feel a stretch of yearning in their heart to keep on holding it? But this was the second time around for me. I loved my freedom. I had already done my maternal schtick. Who knew that my heart was just playing a waiting game with my brain?

I thought all those friends of mine were pretty silly when they waxed enthusiastic over their grandchildren. So I was taken by surprise by the depth of my feelings for my grandchild. That was more than thirteen years ago.

Now all the grandchildren are leaving the grandparent's nest. Yes, it's a different kind of a nest, more like a "Toys 'R' Us" store. But we'll miss our customers' visits, and we'll feel poorer for not having them with us as much. Now, however, I can commiserate with my friends who have already gone through the Empty Nest Syndrome not just once, but twice.

There are ways to get your grandchildren to come for a visit. Last year we took the whole family on a cruise. It was lovely and everyone had a great time. However, it was a big ship with lots of diversions for children of all ages. So the only time we actually spent with the grandchildren was at nightly family dinners. There wasn't much of a chance for any grandparent/grandchild conversation when sitting at a round table for nine.

Recently a friend had her granddaughter for a visit. The teenage granddaughter brought a friend with her.

Questions: Would the granddaughter have come for a visit without bringing a friend with her? Does this count as a visit to the grandparent? Is having a grandchild "visit" worth the price of hosting two giggling, unfathomable teenage girls in a grandparents' peaceful home for a week? What do you readers think?