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Thirteen years ago, I had my first gay experience. For the record -- because you can’t tell by the picture -- I’m a heterosexual male.

Confused? That’s what I say about the critics of gay marriage.

During a drive along a desolate strip of Interstate 10 in California with an outspoken lesbian friend in the passenger seat heading to a well-known lesbian event, I got a quick education on why opposite sexes don’t always attract.

You ask, “Why?” And that’s precisely what I asked.

“Why?” I said to Muffin Spencer-Devlin, daring to go where no other man had gone before. If you don’t recall, Spencer-Devlin was one of the first professional athletes to go public about being gay. But I never had the chance to read the Sports Illustrated story, so I had to know.

“Why do you prefer women over men?” I boldly queried because I’ve never shied away from asking the tough question. I also knew Spencer-Devlin never backed down from a tough question.

I’ll never forget her answer.

She explained that she had been with men but they couldn’t make her feel the way a woman did. “You know that feeling you get when you kiss a girl,” Spencer-Devlin explained to me, “that sensation, the soft touch, the tingling throughout your body. I get that same feeling from a woman. And I don’t feel that way with a man.”

“Wow, that makes sense,” I replied. “We’re really looking for the same thing.”

Spencer-Devlin also said her financial success made it hard to find a man who didn’t want to take advantage of her. She explained that her female companion meant more to her than money. “We’re best friends,” she said. “I couldn’t imagine being without her.”

Now this is how I’d describe my relationship with the love of my life, my wife, Mireidy.

Thirteen years later, the rest of the universe hasn’t been educated. The debate over gay marriages hasn’t evolved. One might think that we might be more open-minded as a society after TV shows like “Will & Grace,” which were not only accepted but beloved.

If gay couples want to profess their love for each other, so be it. If they’re willing to make a commitment, stand up and cheer. If they’re willing to get married, well, maybe it will help the divorce rate. For the most part, Americans have turned marriage into an Elizabeth Taylor let-me-count-the-times mockery.

Last month, a reporter returned to the office stating she had big news: The Lee County Tourist Development Council said it was going to target the gay and lesbian community. This shouldn’t have been news. It should have been a no-brainer.

Much like gays getting married, I say why not. Last time I checked, the gays and lesbians are allowed to travel freely. And they spend money, too.

The critics of gay marriage point to the Bible, which refers to homosexuality as immoral. What if you don’t believe in the Bible?

Now President Bush wants to improve his dismal approval rating. He wants to make gay marriages unconstitutional. What if you don’t believe in the president? You wouldn’t be alone. What would our Founding Fathers, the original endorsers of the Constitution, think of the gay marriage controversy?

Sure they never had a deep conversation with a lesbian during a drive to Palm Springs, but they were men who were obviously comfortable with their sexuality. Remember, they wore wigs in public.

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E-mail Tom Hanson at tahanson@bonitanews.com