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What will Bonita Springs do with the Imperial Landing property? The options are endless after the City Council nixed the Antaramian Group’s plush mixed-use project.

It’s a beautiful piece of real estate: 5.3 acres off Old 41 Road, split by the Imperial River. The dissenters want something smaller. They want something that fits Old Bonita.

Here are a few ideas that match the mindset of the members who voted against redevelopment.

Someone at last Wednesday’s meeting had suggested a dinner cruise, which drew a few laughs. The river is a bit small for a large motorized boat. But they may be on to something. How about a kayak dinner cruise? Paddle the river and enjoy a gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The caveat of this deal: Your sandwich will be made by City Councilman Pat McCourt. We know he can spread it on thick.

How about a miniature golf course? Golf is big in Florida. The course would be unique. An outhouse would replace the traditional windmill to represent a golden opportunity being flushed away. And instead of a clown’s face on the final hole, there would sit Alex Grantt’s mug complete with the comb-over and those bushy eye-brows. Talk about distracting.

Someone in the Daily News office suggested a carnival. It could come complete with the Richard Ferreira tilt-a-whirl. You know the ride that spins so much that it makes you sick. And McCourt, Grant and Martha Simons could man the ring toss, the milk jugs and the basketball shot games of chance in the midway. We already know they can control games that are nearly impossible to win. If you do beat them, you win a stuffed Mayor Jay Arend.

Simons has been pitching for a spring training baseball stadium in Bonita Springs. Unfortunately, the Imperial Landing site is a wee bit too small, unless they put the infield on the parcel south of the river and the outfield on the north parcel. You’ve heard of old Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati and the former Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh. This would be the “River Runs Through It” Stadium.

However, there is a better chance of putting a couple of Little League fields on the site. This would be a better fit for Bonita’s small-time mentality.

With redevelopment being shot down, the city could make Imperial Landing a large resort for the homeless. Cafe of Life could set up camp and the city could charge the less fortunate $1 a day for a soiled mattress. The residents could drive through the complex when they needed to get their windshields cleaned. A water theme park with a giant slide that empties into the river might be a natural fit. Combine this with the homeless resort and we’d have the cleanest vagrants in the world.

Drug dealings are a major problem in the downtown area. To keep the crime centralized, the city could put up an illegal drugstore on one side of the river and a police station on other. They could call it “Crack ’n’ Barrel.” Then the city’s motto would be “The High-light of Southwest Florida.”

The final thought for the land is an old-fashioned Ringling Bros. Big Top, complete with a high-wire act and the flying trapeze artists. But after last Wednesday’s City Council meeting and the decision to nix redevelopment, that wouldn’t work either. Any other circus would pale in comparison.

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Tom Hanson’s e-mail address is: tahanson@bonitanews.com.