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Getting good medical care takes more than just going to the doctor and letting him or her listen to your heartbeat and see if your reflexes are working. Doctors can do many things when it comes to keeping you healthy. But what they can't do is read your mind. They can't always diagnose your problems, often because they don't know what's bothering you.

I remember my aunt telling me about her physical problems that to my untrained mind sounded a lot like poor circulation. I urged her to tell her doctor what she was telling me. But she told me, "He's such a nice boy I don't want to trouble him." Had she been less in love with her doctor and more concerned with her symptoms she would probably have lived another ten years without being in pain when she walked.

There should be no embarrassment in disclosing your fears to your doctor. Who better to discern a physical problem than the person who has it? Men especially are less than honest about their physical condition to their doctors. They tend to pass off their fears and even their actual symptoms rather than express them and get the help they need.

Married men are healthier than single men for a reason. Wives are more likely to tell their family physician about their husband's symptoms. This is helpful to their doctor and very important to the husband's health.

Doctors rely on getting all the relevant information they can get to keep their patient healthy. Even an MRI can't always tell what a wife or husband can. Marriage is a great observation deck from which a spouse can see any physical and emotional changes in a loved one. No one knows us better than the person who lives with us day to day.

When we avoid telling all to our doctors, we are contributing to our own demise. There is nothing shameful about having a physical weakness. Many avoid discussing their fears because they are afraid that they will be confirmed: They do have a bad heart, or cancer or some other terrible illness. There's the feeling that if they don't acknowledge their fear, the symptom will disappear.

There's the tendency not to get a second opinion when we get bad news from our doctor. But doctors are only people. All people, no matter what their training and expertise, can and do make mistakes.

Doctors are not gods. If all patients sought a second opinion about their doctor's diagnoses, there would be a lot fewer lawsuits and our doctor bills might be lower.

That brings me to another sticking point about today's medical health care. If patients took control of their medical costs rather than close their eyes and leave it all to other entities to pay the bills, we would probably be a lot better off financially. It might even lower our federal taxes.

When we list the most important thing in our lives, good health tops the list. Without good health nothing else is possible. We may have all the money in the world, but it doesn't help when we're too ill to enjoy it. We hear a lot about doctors who are less than noble. But what we don't hear too much about is patients who are negligent with their health. There are people on oxygen still smoking. There are individuals shortening their lives with each mouthful of fun food.

I have friends who, once they have grandchildren, start to make changes in their lifestyles. But many times it's too late. We can only blame ourselves when we get good advice and just ignore it.

Doctors can help us live longer and be healthier, but only if we act on their good advice. In the end only we have the power to make our lives healthy.